For some reason I cannot sign up for Tidal and it sucks major donkey balls

This blog is entitled "For some reason I cannot sign up for Tidal and it sucks major donkey balls".

The title explains the blog but it also explains the reason why I haven't posted anything in almost a decade. Nothing has more influence on my day to day life than music. It is my passion, it is the very everything that I live for. Jay Z is a fantastic Rap Artist. I appreciate his work as a businessman and an entrepreneur and philanthropist. By releasing his album 4:44 as a Tidal exclusive, he has forced me to try the streaming service that puts money into his bank account. For whatever reason, my current laptop and internet connection has chosen to not allow me to purchase Tidal, or sign up for it's free trial services.

At this current moment I believe that my situation, by not being able to download Jay Z's latest album 4:44, perfectly encapsulates the frustration and the pure anguish that I endure every single time I think about this blog. What a failure it was. Who I was when I wrote it, and how it turned out.

My writing wasn't good enough to illicit a response out of people. I didn't capture an audience and at the time I didn't know why. I still don't know why. I'm not sure why I wasn't motivated enough, or strong enough of a writer to get people to read the ramblings of my 20 year old wedding DJ self who lived with his parents and had homework as one of his 99 problems.

Excuse me misses and misters, those who have decided to read my new little piece of hello to the world. I urge you to please, please forgive the 2009 version of me. I was both numb and naive at the time to think that you would look at my blog and say "I like that".

Unfortunately I must also inform the previous version of myself that he has been left in the dust by the revolutions of technology. Although I wouldn't call having a blog back in 2009 "big pimpin", The blueprint of what content is available to the general public in 2017 is completely different than it was almost 10 years ago.

Nowadays it's not even about what boys like, or what girls like. It's about vloggers and their loveable personas and irresistibly viral episodes. The sauvity of video media has made the candor and quaintness of a written blog obsolete. That plus 99 other problems that plague the media form that is the blog leave me with zero reasonable doubts that it is just not the highest throne of available media forms.

Nevertheless, without derailing from the blueprint I set out in the title, I am now brushing the dirt off of my shoulders, fixing my suit and tie, and writing this for you to stress to you my heartbreak that a blog has become nothing more than an extension of a persons Twitter, which itself is only the 140 characters that are attached to a person's Instagram.

A blog used to be a way for someone to express their thoughts to an empty page and hope people would would pick it up later and take something away from it. Nowadays as time goes on I realize I am not forever young. 2017 is half over now and I'd be fronting if I said I was happy with my current streaming music service for not allowing me to listen to the 21 time Grammy winner's latest album.

Show this to

Okay I have a whole project statement post to write up... but enjoy this first:


Show this to someone. Anyone.

Smokin’ a cigarette in my parents place

T.V. flickers in my family’s house
As I smoke a cigarette in my parents place.
Tired from work, body aches from party,
I click a lighter in my parents 2 bedroom condo.
Recline in my father’s leather chair,
Relax my shoulders,
Open the window,
Exhale tobacco and thoughts threw the screen.

Breathe in a little more trouble
As a familiar sound causes a unique reaction.
Vegas song leaks out my Dad’s surrounds sound speakers
Causing the carbon dioxide and piano to mix,
Tickling, gently along my heart,
No one really talks like that.

Cold passes through the open window
Hits my body, and cools my feelings.

With a flick of a switch fake flames erupt,
Shining in the room’s most recent addition, as
Faux fire ignites and comforts my rebellion.
Teen angst of the finest kind.

A commercial plays on the living room flat screen,
It’s that car ad;
You know the one,
Touching acoustic song,
And a little reminder in the corner that no one really drives like that.
They’re all the same.

Image flashes of a truck drifting up a sand dune,
Those headlights haunted the last few days.
My holidays.

Since New Year’s Day,
A constant reminder,
Every few hours that there’s actually a world out there,
There is actually a world out there;
A 7/11, 9 to 5, vacation pay, taxes included, world out there.


Putting sunglasses on
My attention is on a town being polluted by personal smog,
City sun shining in an afternoon sky, reflecting off a lake,
Polluted by smokestacks spewing out far worse than tobacco.

In the distance I can make out a bridge full of cars
On their way home to their own lives,
Caffeine from morning addictions running thin in their veins.
Thoughts drift to my parents on the beach,
Maybe they got something right.

Butting my cancer in a takeout cup
I exhale away the exhaustion felt by those around me.
Tomorrow I join those daily fucks,
But tonight Ill relax, and enjoy my breaths.

Smoking cigarettes in my parents place.